3 Tips For Parenting A Teen with Anger
The teenage years can be challenging for most parents and guardians. Your teenager is figuring out how to be an adult and enjoying childhood at the same time. They can be moody, unpredictable, and adventurous. It is a lot to take in for your youth and you. Understanding why teenagers might experience angry emotions can help you. Let’s dive in on some factors that affect teens’ anger issues and know when anger management support is needed.
What is Anger?
First things first: Anger is neither good nor bad. It is an emotion that every human being has, and it's not something we can erase from our system.
Imagine somebody said an insulting statement to you, and you said with a smile on your face, "Oh, it is okay! It is all good." That would be kind of weird, right?
The key here is learning how to express it in a healthy way.
Possible Causes and Reasons of Teen Anger
Many factors can contribute to anger in teens. Anger often comes out when there are underlying emotions present such as sadness, hurt, fear, etc. Some youth need advice on how to manage their emotions. Others need more in-depth support.
Here are some causes of anger in a teenager:
- Conflicts within the family (either with parents or siblings)
- Peer pressure
- Traumatic event
- Low self-esteem
- Divorce and separation
- Excessive use of social media
- Parental expectations
- Strict limitations on things they can do (i.e. going on a road trip with friends)
Aside from these, anxiety and depression can also contribute to anger outbursts.
3 Tips to Help Your Teen Cope with Anger
1. Give them healthy outlets
Encourage them to do the hobbies they enjoy. If they like dancing, show them a YouTube dance tutorial video. If they like drawing, tell them to illustrate how angry they feel at the moment. Creating a healthy outlet for your teen helps them manage their anger better. It avoids yelling or any rage.
Examples of healthy outlets for anger:
- Listening to music
- Playing with their friend or a pet
- Cleaning up their space
- Taking a shower
- Eating their favourite meal
2. Increase responsibility and freedom safely
This can be a tough tip to follow. As parents or guardians, you want to make sure they are safe. This is perfectly normal.
The reality is that teens need their independence too. This helps them learn about the world and accept new challenges with the slightest danger. Now, the questions are:
- When should I give my child freedom?
- How much freedom should I provide?
The answers to the questions above are solely up to you. Keep in mind that the essential thing here is to let your teen know that they can gain more freedom as they show that they are responsible and reliable enough.
3. Spend quality time with your teen
Every child wants to feel unconditional love and genuine support from their parents or caregivers. Schedule time to hang out with your teen by doing the things you both enjoy. When you are together, focus on validating their feelings and actively listening to their stories. You can also maintain a positive mindset about their strengths and weaknesses.
Here are some activities you can do with your teenager:
- Watch a movie together
- Play "who is more…" game (i.e. who is more likely to try sky diving?")
- Learn a TikTok dance together
This is a time to reassure them how much you love them. You can also admit your shortcomings and share your plan to support them better. When you voice your concerns and possible mistakes, it shows you can be vulnerable. This can result in a close relationship with your child. When you are closer to them, they can freely share their problems with you. Hence, you can guide them better.
Understanding Anger in Teenagers
If you think your child needs to understand their anger from an outside source, our Understanding Anger for Youth class may help. Teens and youth aged 13-17 attend this class. Parental consent is needed.
This is a 2.5-hour workshop where your teen will learn self-awareness skills and learn how to take control of their emotions.
- Managing Anger Constructively
- Should you let your child face the consequences?
- Various parenting tips
Services that can help you with anger management: